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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748093">i could try to smile to hide the truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitigates/pseuds/mitigates'>mitigates</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>on the verge [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Established Relationship, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Rated T for language, breakdown - Freeform, lots of screaming, open ended ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:15:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitigates/pseuds/mitigates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“O-Omi?” Atsumu choked out, pressing his hand against the door. He heard it again, a loud sob ripping through the air and echoed against the smooth tile of the bathroom. He heard the shuffle of what sounded like Sakusa’s clothes hitting the floor and a string of short curse words.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>on the verge [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186439</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i could try to smile to hide the truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title from: happier - ed sheeran</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Atsumu settled into his overly comfortable couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Sakusa wouldn’t be home for at least half an hour and he had plenty of time to polish off the container of potato sticks he was munching on. He had a long ass day of practice and just wanted to sleep but Omi wasn’t home yet. Unfortunately, Omi wasn’t home yet and Atsumu wasn’t prideful enough to admit he couldn’t sleep without the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was dumping the last of the crumbs into his mouth when he heard the door push open. Omi had been out with Bokuto which was an odd decision in itself but Atsumu wasn’t questioning it. Omi had...friends...besides him. Right? Right. He did. Atsumu rolled off of the couch and went toward the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he could make it into the genkan, he was forcefully knocked into the nearest wall by a flurry of movement that came in the form of the most disheveled looking Sakusa he had ever seen. Atsumu nearly forgot about the pain of his head smacking into the wall. He frowned and rubbed the back of his head as he heard their guest bathroom door slam shut. That was odd. Omi never used the guest bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu padded over to the door and tried to open it, surprised again to find it locked. He rapped on it lightly. “Omi? You okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu went to knock again but heard an inhuman sound that made him freeze. It sounds like- a sob? Omi sobbing? Omi was crying?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O-Omi?” Atsumu choked out, pressing his hand against the door. He heard it again, a loud sob ripping through the air and echoed against the smooth tile of the bathroom. He heard the shuffle of what sounded like Sakusa’s clothes hitting the floor and a string of short curse words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu tried the handle again but it was still locked. “Omi- Omi, open the door.” Atsumu knocked on it again, albeit more forcefully that time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another loud sob unsettled him. The shower squeaked on and the sound of running water filled the air. It wasn’t loud enough to cover Sakusa’s wailing. He was crying, sobbing even, loudly. It sounded like he was smacking his palm against the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Omi, open the door please.” Atsumu spoke louder, curling his hand into a fist and banging on the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I ca- cl- I can-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu pressed his ear against the door to hear what Sakusa was saying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t- fuck- fuck- I can’t- clean- I can’t- get clean- fuck- whatwhatwhat- shit- I can’t- breathe-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu banged on the door louder. “Omi! Open the fuckin’ door!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GET OUT!” Sakusa screamed the words, overpowering the spray of the shower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu jumped back, startled by the sudden response. He hesitated for a moment before pressing against the door again. “Please, Omi. Let me in. Talk to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out, get- get out- get off- please- fuckfuckfuck-” Sakusa was crying uncontrollably, slapping his palms against the shower wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu tripped as he ran back into the living room, his knees slamming into the hardwood floor. He grunted in pain and reached for his phone, dialing Bokuto’s number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Bo! What the fuck- what the fuck happened? What happened to Omi?” Atsumu scrambled back to the bathroom door, trying unsuccessfully to open it again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? Where is he?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He jus’ came home and he’s- fuck. He’s- what happened? Where’d you guys go?” Atsumu asked quietly, pressing his forehead against the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhhhh- we just went out to eat. We went to that new ramen shop by the gym. Someone called him when we were leaving and he just kind of left, I thought it was you.” Bokuto responded. He paused for a moment. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. He came runnin’ into the apartment and straight into the bathroom and he’s- he’s- fuck, Bo, he’s in there crying. He is screaming and crying that he can’t get clean or somethin’.” Atsumu choked back his own sob. “Do ya know who called him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I don’t. Should I call someone? Sho or his brother or his sister or- um, I don’t think I have his parents number. What about Coach?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No- no, no. He wouldn’t- I don’t think he’d want that.” Atsumu cleared his throat and stepped back from the door. “Shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should I come over? Maybe I can- or maybe Keiji, he’s here-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nonono, I don’t- that won’t- No. I’ll- I can help him. I’ll call you if I need ya. Thanks, Bokkun.” Atsumu hung up the phone before he heard Bokuto’s response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Omi was still screaming incoherently, sobbing and banging the walls. Atsumu jumped when he heard glass shatter. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself, gripping his shoulders. He leaned his forehead against the door again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiyoomi.” Atsumu whispered the words, knowing they wouldn’t go any further than the wood in front of him. “Kiyoomi, please. Pleasepleaseplease.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Miya,” Atsumu’s head shot up, staring at the door with wide eyes at Sakusa’s words. “Miya- go. J-jus-just go!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu’s face fell, his resolve crumbling. “No- what? No, I’m not goin’ anywhere. Jus’ come out here and talk to me-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“MIYA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” Sakusa was screaming against, banging his fists against the other side of the door until it rattled. “GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu blinked back tears as he stepped away from the door. He heard a thump as Sakusa slumped to the floor, mumbling nonsensical words. Atsumu could see streaks of water spitting out from beneath the door. He stumbled backward and barely caught himself on the back of the couch. His breaths started coming in deep heavy pants, he clutched the front of his t-shirt as he reached for his keys. He yanked his jacket off of the counter and started for the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakusa was still screaming in the bathroom, something about not being clean and mumbled loud words that sounded like Atsumu’s name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu turned toward the bathroom again, unable to move another step. Should he go? Should he stay? What the fuck did Omi expect him to do? There’s only so much Atsumu could take- only so much he should be expected to take before saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck it</span>
  </em>
  <span> and getting the hell out of there. Sakusa screaming at him to leave for something he didn’t have anything to do with was at the top of his list of reasons why he wanted to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that wasn’t what their relationship was, right? It couldn’t be. It wasn’t. They were more than that. Years of being together couldn’t be wrecked by something that might just be an overreaction- though Atsumu knew for Sakusa to react like this- like some way he had never seen, Atsumu knew whatever happened wasn’t something as simple as having to skip washing his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A muffled howl came from the bathroom, it sounded like Sakusa had pressed his face into a towel. He was crying again, whimpering Atsumu’s name like a mantra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu dropped his jacket and keys to the floor. His knees hit the hardwood next. He pressed his forehead against the door, his palm following suit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Omi,” Atsumu whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m here, Kiyoomi. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i just realized this is the 50th fic that i've published, thank you everyone for sticking with me :)) it means more than i'll ever be able to say.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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